Persuasion Isn’t Your Thing? That’s Okay!
I get it. You’re not a natural persuader. I’m not either. You didn’t grow up winning every argument at the dinner table or selling lemonade to people who didn’t want lemonade. But here’s the thing: being persuasive isn’t about winning someone over with verbal acumen.
It’s about building relationships—relationships that turn into partnerships, sales, and long-term opportunities. And the best part? There are hacks you can implement today to make this happen, even if you can never picture yourself as a persuasive person.
Hack #1: Start by Giving, Not Getting
I have found that I’m most persuasive when I’m doing something for someone (providing value), not yammering about what I’m going to do. Here are things you can “do” immediately to be persuasive:
- Partnering with Other Businesses: Share a resource or offer free advice tailored to their needs.
- Securing Investors: Offer a simple, compelling business plan that solves a problem they care about.
- Winning Customers: Give them a small win first, like a free sample or a practical tip they can use immediately.
People don’t remember a great pitch as much as they remember a great experience. So, focus on giving before asking.
Hack #2: Credibility Is Your Golden Ticket
Without credibility persuasion is dead, and establishing credibility isn’t a one-and-done deal—it’s a marathon. Here are some quick hacks that I’ve learned:
- Leverage Testimonials: If someone else loves what you do, let them talk about it. Zendesk showcases in-depth profiles about businesses they’ve helped, providing potential clients with credible, detailed testimonials that build trust.
- Be Consistent: Show up on time, follow through on promises, and deliver quality work consistently.
- Share Your Wins: Without bragging, let people know what you’ve achieved and how it could benefit them.
My wife, Lisa, and I own a non-profit. Every month we have a vegan dine-around. My business friend suggested that when Lisa and I introduce ourselves, we should say that we are the founders of the non-profit AND the owners of PressurePerfect Massage. Doesn’t seem boastful, right? And at the same time I’m sharing our wins and building credibility.
Long-Term Credibility Building:
- Develop expertise in your field and share it through blogs, workshops, or community events.
- Build an online presence that reflects your values and skills. A website that shows professionalism goes a long way.
Hack #3: Ask Questions and Listen (Yes, Really Listen)
Do you struggle with listening? I do. I constantly am telling myself to shut up and listen. Besides being a good habit, listening can be persuasive. How? People feel valued when they’re heard, and they’re more likely to trust and partner with you.
- When pitching an idea, ask about the other party’s needs and concerns first.
- Mirror the other party’s language to show you’re in tune with them.
- Summarize (in a non-scripted way) what they’ve said to confirm you understand their priorities.
This can feel Dale Carnegie (insincere) at first until it becomes part of who you are. Just get your reps in and eventually you won’t feel like an imposter.
Hack #4: The Power of Follow-Up
Early in my career, I made this mistake: I’d nail the initial meeting, then drop the ball on follow-ups, and my initial work was wasted. Staying top-of-mind requires consistent communication.
- After a meeting, send a thank-you note or email.
- Suggest a simple next step, like a follow-up call or a quick demo.
- Use tools like calendars or CRM systems to remind you when to reach out.
Don’t underestimate the power of showing you care enough to stay in touch.
Hack #5: Make It a Relationship, Not a Transaction
Persuasion isn’t about the one-time win. It’s about building a relationship that keeps paying off. In other words, you don’t one to “sell one watch one day”, you want to “sell thousands of watches over years”. To make that happen:
- Be reliable and trustworthy over time.
- Keep finding ways to add value, even when you’re not pitching anything.
- Celebrate their wins. If your partner business or client achieves something, acknowledge it.
I’m going to reiterate because I think it is important: persuasion is a constant process of building trust, offering value, and staying relevant. If you nourish the relationship (yes, I think that’s persuasion), you’ll find that people keep coming back. If you don’t, they’ll forget about you.
Nourishing Business Relationships: A Personal Lesson
When I ran a hotel massage business, I approached managers and got meetings. Sometimes, I even set up massage days for employees. But I’d often lose touch afterward, and guess what? I lost relevance in the managers’ minds. Looking back, I should have suggested regular employee appreciation days. I believe small, consistent gestures would have kept the business relationships alive and thriving.
The Persuasive Person’s Checklist
- Give Value First: What can you do for them?
- Be Credible: How do you show you’re reliable and skilled?
- Listen: Are you meeting their needs, or just yours?
- Follow Up: Are you staying relevant?
- Think Long-Term: Are you building a lasting relationship?
You Can Still Be You
Here’s a fine point, but an important one. If you want to be more persuasive, don’t get bogged down in thinking you fundamentally have to change who you are. That immense goal (and arguably impossible to some) can stop you dead in your tracks.
Instead, work the edges and think in terms of habits. If you change a bad habit or start a good habit, like working to become a better listener, that good habit will change how you act which in turn may eventually influence who you are.
Persuasion is About Connection
Last, persuasion starts with connection. Whether it’s giving first, listening more, or following up, the small, thoughtful actions you take today can lead to big, lasting relationships tomorrow. Remember, the best relationships are mutual—not one-way streets. Let me (mark@makethemostofmassage.com) know how it goes!
